Self Created Obstacles to Change and How to Get Over Them.

When trying to develop or change yourself for the better, sometimes you find yourself with obstacles in your way. Now here is the thing. Some of those obstacles may have been put there by yourself. At least, that is what I have found.

So what reasons do we have for putting obstacles in our own way when it comes to changing ourselves? Well here are three reasons that I think are important to address when it comes to obstacles and personal change.

1) Secondary gains for staying the way we are.
Perhaps we get something from the way we are today - even though we think we want to change. Let us look an example. John has agoraphobia. It has developed over a period of time and now he is house bound. His wife loves him very much and she hates to see him this way and cares for him during his illness. John wants to change but at the same time doesn't do the anything to help himself change. He doesn't even try. A psychologist might say that John enjoys the attention he gets from having this condition or he enjoys being mothered and looked after. In psychology, this is called a secondary gain.

Do you have any secondary gains preventing you changing for the better? Ask yourself what is more important to you? Is this change worth more to you than the secondary gains?

2) You have a fear of failure.
Again let us use an example to help describe this self created obstacle. Peter hates his job. He feels lonely, isolated and the people he works with seem to be all self-serving rats in a rat race. Despite all this, his job is relatively secure and well paid. He has a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay. He feels secure. As time goes by his mental health begins to suffer - he starts to feel depressed and he has more arguments with his spouse. Yet he is afraid to change job. He is afraid of the unknown. He thinks the worst might happen i.e. that if he goes to another company he will not be able to do his job as well and he will get fired, he will loose his home and everything he ever worked for. He feels trapped.

Living under the burden of fear is a terrible thing but it is a very easy state to find yourself in. Especially in today's society. Ask yourself if fear is stopping you from changing for the better. Ask yourself - is your mental health suffering from staying where you are now? Look at past experiences of change in your life - the last time you changed job, was it really that bad?

3) You are letting perfectionism stop you from action.
Are you waiting for the right moment to change? Are you waiting for the right conditions to change? Do you want to be able to do these new things perfectly and don't want to start doing them until you feel you can do them perfectly? Remember things don't have to be perfect for you to change NOW. Are you telling yourself "I will change job when I feel more settled in my home?" or "I want my C.V. to be perfect before applying for my DREAM job!" then you discover these PERFECT times never come and you have missed your opportunities? Stop and ask yourself has perfectionism stopped YOU from progressing.


SOLUTION:
How do you know if I am putting obstacles in my way? Well you ANALYSE, ANALYSE, ANALYSE your thoughts and motivations! Here is how:

- Question your motives for NOT changing.
- What are your motives FOR changing?
- List out your life priorities. Take your time and work out what is important for you in this life and what you want to change?
- List out what things you have done right to reach your goals.
- Ask yourself WHY you haven't changed? Pretend your are being interviewed by a hard hitting newsperson. Write out how the dialogue might go between you and the journalist. How would they question your answers?
- After the imaginary journalist has finished with you - do you have any valid reasons left for not changing?

The main theme behind all this questioning is being honest with yourself. You may be surprised by how many obstacles YOU are putting in your way and once you realise this - it will become much easier to LEAP OVER THEM!

Good Luck,
Allen

DON'T JUST SIT THERE - MOVE!

DON'T JUST SIT THERE - MOVE!
Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds

Quick tip for today:

While thinking about your posture at work - it is better to MOVE OFTEN than to SIT WELL.

Good Luck,
Allen

Even Without a Garden You Can Grow Your Own Potatoes!

Even Without a Garden You Can Grow Your Own Potatoes!

In this day of people trying to be more organic or more "green" - this is a great way of making a small step towards being more organic.

There are a couple of ways you can do this if you are short of space or have no garden. This is the way I am growing potatoes this spring.

- Take a fertilizer bag or any large strong bag. My bags are about 100 litres in size. Put some holes at the bottom of the bag for drainage.

- Half fill the bag with general purpose compost.

- Roll down the bag until the top of the bag is a centimetre or so above the compost.

- Take two seed potatoes (try the salad type which will be harvested in June/July).

- Plant these potatoes eyes up. The eyes are the little sprouts of shoots that should be coming out of the seed potato. If your seed potato has not got any shoots then set them on a tray near a window and wait until some shoots appear.

- Place them just below the surface.

- Water gently - not too much as you don't want to rot the budding shoots.

- As the plant grows you are going to roll the bag a bit up at a time and add more compost. Don't forget to water weekly and feed with some plant food.

- When the plant flowers then its time to harvest. Simple rummage through the bag for your lovely spuds!

Repeat for as many bags as you want.

Now I haven't done this before so I will keep you posted on how it goes. Apparently this method works and is a great way to have your own potatoes!

Another way of growing potatoes when you don't have the space is to use a "Potato Barrel" - as shown in image above.

Here is the method for working with the barrel.


Planting

You need 80 Litres of a good general purpose compost. Pour 6in. of compost into the bottom of the barrel and plant 5 seed potatoes (shoots or eyes uppermost), about 2in. deep. Position one potato in the centre and the other 4 in opposite corners. Do not soak the compost at this stage as this may rot the tubers. When the shoots have grown about 6in. high, add a second layer of compost around the plants, exposing just the tips. Repeat this process in layers of about 4in. until the compost and the shoots reach 1in. below the top of the barrel.

As the main stem grows towards the top of the barrel, it sends out potato-bearing side shoots all the way up, eventually producing 'new' potatoes. Potato foliage continues to grow until it is 1-2ft above the top of the barrel.

Watering and Feeding

Once the plants are well established the compost needs weekly watering and feeding with a high potash/low nitrogen soluble plant food (eg. a propriety tomato fertiliser). Do not skimp on feed and water as potatoes are greedy, especially when in a tub.

Harvesting

Eventually the plants produce tiny white or pink flowers. This is the time when potatoes should be ready to harvest. Lift the sliders in the barrel sides. The compost should be held in place by the tightly packed roots. If the potatoes are big enough, ease them out. The potatoes will keep on growing until you have harvested the whole barrel.


Let me know how it goes if you choose to do this!

Allen

5 Tips on How to Manage Change in Your Life

5 Tips on How to Manage Change in Your Life

Photo By N. Ireland Wallpapers / Desktop Backgrounds

One of the most difficult aspects of life is handling change. Life is full of change. It could mean changing job, moving house, a new relationship, the ending of a relationship - you name it! It can be stressful but don't forget the golden rule! We can't just FEEL stressed without first THINKING about being stressed.

Here are some tips that I have gotten from self help books that have worked for ME.

1) Anticipate Change.
Change can be happening around you without you realising it! Try and anticipate change. Look at patterns or trends that are happening right now. Perhaps they may be a prelude or indicate an important change on the horizon. Let me give you an example. Here in Ireland, more and more Information Technology jobs are being moved to low cost environments in Asia. My job may be safe in the short term but is it really sustainable? What happens in a couple of years time? I can clearly see a trend so perhaps I should think about re-skilling into a profession that is not likely to be moved abroad? You get my point?

2) Plan for Change.
If we continue with the example of my kind of employment being moved to Asia - what can I do to plan for this inevitability? What options do I have? Perhaps I should think laterally or "outside the box". I have time now to adapt but how long do I have left? The way I see it one should think of planning for change like being in a game of chess. To be successful you need to be able see a few moves ahead. What are the consequences of your action today on the future? What are the consequences of INACTION on the future? What skills do I need to adapt? What are my priorities?

3) Overcome the Fear of Change.
In my experience, we humans fear change. We love being "stuck in a rut" so to speak. We get accustomed to the life we have today and get great comfort in the routine of the day to day tasks of our lives. Maybe we are adverse to taking risks equally you need to ask yourself "Am I taking a bigger risk by not changing?". Maybe we are afraid of the UNKNOWN. If this is so then we need to develop trust that everything will be ok. Look at past experiences? Has everything worked out in the end? When I knew it was time for me to move on from living in Sweden - I was afraid. I had my friends in Stockholm! I had spent 8 years of my life there. I was "used to" the way things were but I knew deep down it was time to change. I had to take the leap and trust everything was going to be OK.

4) Be Kind To Yourself During Change.
No matter how hard you try - you will most likely find change stressful. It seems to be the natural order of things. Try and be kind to yourself during times of change. Take care of your health - both physical and mental. With your physical health, take good care of your diet and make sure you get some exercise to burn of those stress hormones. For you mental health make sure you get enough sleep, enough relaxation and if you are spiritually inclined now is the time to draw on that part of your life.

5) Expect to make mistakes.
Finally - expect to make mistakes. When you are trying something new you are bound to make mistakes for the first while. When I passed my driving test I remember not only how nervous I was driving by myself but I remember how many mistakes I made. I also remember how much I learnt and an overall sense of freedom which was worth all the risks and hard work of trying to pass my driving test in a foreign country AND in a foreign language!

I hope you find these tips on managing change helpful. I certainly feel that if you take these five lessons on board you will manage change in your life. Well, perhaps better than you did before.

Good Luck,
Allen

Great Blog About Workplace Happiness

I happened across this blog : Chief Happiness Officer.

This is a great blog about a very important topic. How can we be happy in work? After all we spend a sizable junk of our lives there.

Check it out and let me know what you think of it! I am very impressed by the no BS attitude and the open mindedness of the articles.

Here is what the site is about :
Happiness at work is a strange idea to many people, who have gotten used to the idea that work is unpleasant, tough and hard. Trust me, it doesn’t need to be that way at all. Work can be energizing, meaningful, inspiring and plain old fun. When it is, we enjoy work more, we enjoy life more and we get more done on the job.

Here are some good places to start reading about happiness at work:

Happy Hour is 9 to 5 - How to Love Your Job, Love Your Life and Kick Butt at Work - My first book about happiness at work.
The most popular articles on the site
Happy at work in six minutes - A short video about happiness at work featuring yours truly.
Make your business happy and rich - a good overview for leaders, entrepreneurs and business owners
This site is a rant-free zone. I enjoy reading or writing a good rant as much as the nex person, but there are just. so. many. on the net already. On this site I stick to writing about what I like and what makes me happy.



Do yourself a favour and check it out!

Allen

More Pearls of Wisdom (Friday Fun) - According to Viz

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it.
If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.


CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p*ss before the film starts.


RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen.
Simply place a dog poo in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.


WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine?
Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.


MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL.
You will never see it again.


BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.


EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.


MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.


GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.


BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.


DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically.
This should help the car start and send them on their way.


PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.


CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or
under a seat.


MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large
shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.


SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.


SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam or Dorothy Perkins with several bags of shopping,
looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.


BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from
your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.


McDONALD'S Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been
thrown out of car windows.

The One Life Lesson to Learn That will Help You the Most

You need to forget about your SELF to care about your SELF.

Allen